Ok, so I've decided that this is the time in my life where it's ok to be single because it's the new fall T.V. season, lol!! Having a boyfriend would just mess up my T.V. viewing schedule! Between working, working out, and the new fall line up who has time for a date? Ha ha!
Ok on a serious note....I talked to the ex last night. It really doesn't get any easier at all. But I have to put all this behind me and move on with my life. I can only be sad for so long you know. I've shed so many tears and when i hear his voice i so badly want him to come back to me. But it wouldn't be good for either of us. I know this is different because he didn't cheat on me and he is not a bad guy. It just is the situation and there really is no way around it. And that breaks my heart more. Last night just hearing his voice tore my heart more. I truly do have strong feelings for him and i have a love for him that I never thought I could have for anyone. But it's not going to happen for us and that is what really sucks! I wish to God that we could have a do over and i could fix all the problems he has. But I'm only human.
One of my friends told me she thinks I'm so strong and that I've been through enough that she doesn't know how I find the strength. Well you know what I think? I think I've seriously been through the ringer enough and this strong lady is just done, done, done! No more dating, no more falling in love and no more of the drama of a break up. My heart just can't take it any more. So i walk away from dating.....there are worse things.
For the first time in my life with this guy i felt true love and i felt what it's like for someone to really love me and only me. That's what hurts the most. Knowing that person is out there and I can't be with him. And that is all I want....I want to be with him, laughing with him, seeing his big brown eyes stare into mine and hear him whisper "I love you" in my ear.
But since i can't have that I'll just have to be happy with the fall line up. So far 90210...wonderful! The new Melrose Place....has potential! And Sons of Anarchy is up next! And hold onto your pants kids....there is a new vampire show coming on....Thank you CW :)
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