Friday, June 18, 2010


Well hello all! Oh my it's been a while since I've blogged. So much has been going on that I've just been too busy. Which is a nice change. First I should start by saying that this is a new improved Melanie. I'm getting back to me and putting me first. Which I've not done in sometime because I've been in relationships and I somehow lost focus on me.

I've gotten back into working out every day. Yes I said every day! Sometimes twice a day. And I'm feeling great! A bit sore from time to time but great all the same! LOL. I've been reading and getting to the movies. I've also been in the pool doing laps and getting my summer tan. All of this I'm doing man less and I have to say for the first time in almost 5 years I'm really happy. I'm not worried about all the things that come with men. Like is he cheating on me, is he lying to me, where is he at, why does he only have time for me one day a week? Men have been nothing but a mess for me.

I've only truly been in love once and it messed me up so much that I just don't think I have it in me anymore. Other than that one time....the rest of my relationships have been nothing but heartache and headaches. I'm finally back to me. And I feel so free and happy.

It's not that I've been in controlling relationships or anything like that it's that I've been in so many one sided things that I lost balance of it all. I give and give and give and men take. They have never really cared for me as a person, mostly I'm just a person who was there to have fun with for a while and then when things start to get serious they just dump you. Well I believe I'm worth sooooo much more than that.

As for those who say I've just not found my one yet. Well there have been over 40 in my life the past 5 years. Now don't judge me! The over 40 include, one date disasters, boyfriends, and guys that you hangout with once or twice and decide....nahhh not for me. That's a lot of idiots and frankly this girl is tired of dating and the game and all that goes with it. My get up and go when it comes to love has got up and went! I told my Mom the other night on my tombstone it will lies Melanie, she lived alone and she died alone. And my Mom said NO! It will lies Melanie....she's smarter than a man. LOL. Gotta love your Mom huh?

Out of 4o some odd men I never found the one that could prove that he actually gave a damn about me. Jr. he was a bit of an exception. But that ship has sailed. And in the end, he ended up like the others, confused as to what he wanted and scared to move forward. So he ran away. And when he wanted to come back I pushed him away. Because frankly if a man can't stand a bit of heat and runs.....he'll run again. I'm not stupid.

Me I'll be fine. I always am.