SCRATCHING MY HEAD....

WARNING......NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, I'M CUSSING AND PISSED IN HERE. JUST TO LET YOU KNOW.

Let me start this by saying...Thanks to the powers that be by the mighty facebook I've found one of my ex boyfriends....yeah and I'm pretty much disgusted! His wife and I share a common friend...be it a radio station but all the same that is how I saw his asshole face pop up on my screen! You all know me....of course I'm gonna dig! And I saw that they were married in Jan. of 09. That means that Ken the Asshole was married ten days after he dumped me! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????????? I am at a total loss for words. Had I known I was up against that I'd never of waisted tears on that ASSHOLE! This totally breaks all the hope I've ever had in finding true love. It just isn't out there is it?

Another guy I went out with on one real date and then we hung out one other time tried to pressure me into having sex with him. When I told him that I didn't think that was smart because we'd not even kissed yet, his response was....the time hadn't presented itself to kiss me....Oh but it had presented itself for me to get naked and lay down with him? WHAT THE HELL?????? Now a few weeks later he's got a girlfriend....SERIOUSLY??

What is wrong with me? Why do men not want a nice, wonderful, loyal, sweetheart like me? I've been dumped for so many reasons. And each time it stings a bit more. I just don't get it. I know I'm not desperate.....I'm a good person. So why on earth is it so hard for a good man to actually want me? What did I ever do? I'm 34, I'm not sure if I'll ever have children. I'm not sure I'll ever be married and have that "wonderful" life. I honestly thought that by now I'd be settled down and be on my way to having it all. But all I see is everyone else getting and having it all. And me....Yeah. Pity Party Table of 1. Story of my life.

No wonder Ken didn't spend any time with me when he got back from Iraq....HE WAS GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How stupid am I? And that was a year ago he took the plunge. I even saw her with him once at a resturant....man....I should of approached him like I'd thought....But I was the bigger person. Man I'm an idiot!

SCARLETT'S BLOG

Hello humans....Oh my what a day. We had some stuff happen here in the apartment. Yesterday the loud people next door had a clogged drain in the bathroom. And well, it backed up the tub here in our place and Mama was not happy when she got home and got that message I'll tell ya! There was this smelly brown gooey stuff that came up in our tub and it was just nasty as can be! Mama said that they couldn't fix it till today.

Well we know what that means right humans....I had to be locked up in the bedroom! And all our kitchen stuff was put in the living room and dining room. Mama was cussing up a storm last night too. So today while I was locked up we got new pipes and the tub is working and we got new cabinets put in....well the same ones but i think a bit up dated. I'm gonna go inspect here soon.

Normally I'm pretty upset when I get locked up but I have to say all in all today I was ok in the bedroom. Mama always brings in my litter and food and I have to say it was a nice day to nap. no pesky birds chirping and keeping me awake! And it's pretty nice when i get to wake up hop off the bed and go right to my food dish....I feel like royalty! Lol!

Well humans, I need to make my rounds and make sure that the handyman and plumber did all the work well! Inspection Kitty to the rescue!

JUDGEMENT DAY....

Yesterday was judgement day for this heifer. Yeah I rejoined Weight Watchers. And I really wasn't happy with the number on the scale. But I now have my new goals in front of my face and I really have to stick with the program. I've let myself go for so long in so many ways.

I got allot out of the meeting and was impressed by the amount of actual overweight women there. I was in Weight Watchers a few years back and I know it works I'm ready to remake myself yet again! In fact when I went to the store later in the day I got all the healthy things I used to eat and I forgot how much those things cost! Yikes!! But I found some really cool things! Who knew they had bagel thins. I'm sure everyone on here has seen them because I tend to "new things" way after other people! Lol. But bagel thins are like someone took a bagel and cut the very top and very bottom off and put them in a bag. And they are only 2 points compared to a regular bagel which can be 6 points for more. Yeah...see what I'm sayin?

Then yesterday my cousin and I went walking on the high school track. I really do like walking there. It's a nice track. And after we went a mile my legs didn't kill me like when we go walking around town. And today my legs aren't hurting like before. So....yeah mushy track :)

It's a process to loose weight but I've done it before a few years ago. I just have to put my mind to it and I know I can do it again. Conditioning is what i gotta do.

Think Thin :)

BEWARE OF ANITA.....

Ok. So I was minding my own business tonight at the laundry mat when in walked....Anita. Oh she was so cute with her natural curly hair and her bouncy happy self...Until I had to walk by her and check on the clothes in my dryer. And Anita tried to rip my head off! Ok, before you all freak out Anita is a dog....Lol. A little yip per of a dog. She is a poodle. And if you ask me the most worthless kind of dog!

She was little and had bows in her ears....omg the things people do to their animals. I couldn't tell as she was trying to be super vicious with me if her nails were painted but I'm assuming they were since she seemed to be a bit of a diva dog. And her owner (a older German lady) was trying to settle her down in broken English. Oh Anita...Be nice, oh Anita....Don't be so loud, oh Anita....Shhhh (something in German). Lol. I wondered....could Anita tell I'm a cat person?

I got to thinking....I'm an animal person in general. Most cats and dogs like me. Can you blame them I'm a wonderful person to be around. But Diva Anita....She's another story all together. Mom says it's the owner not the dog. As I recalled my memories with her of my parents dog Candy. She was a poodle. Who has been told to me that when I came home from the hospital as a baby Candy was not fond of me at all and my father tells me that she growled at me. But as time went on I became pretty attached to that little dog. And for a poodle she was a good dog...Till she went in the cattle lot and ate poop. Yeah....She loved to do that and then run into the house....Oh Mom HATED that! Lol.

But this dog today....Anita....Yikes!! Watcher of the dryers! She means business in the Mat! Ha ha! I guess I'm just not a lover of nonsocial dogs. I'm pretty sure though that Miss Scarlett could take her. With just one swing she'd knock Anita's bows right out of her ears! Lol!! God little dogs are so possessive of their humans! Vicious devil dog!!

I had to laugh though when Anita got herself so worked up that she started coughing....Yeah Anita! Take it like a woman! Karma Anita Karma! Lol. Maybe she just got some dryer lint stuck on her tongue....Who knows! Lol. Guess there is never a dull moment at the laundry mat.

DUST OFF THE COBWEBS....

Ok, so I've taken the summer off from blogging and I've just been having me time. In fact I've taken the past five, count them five months off of dating and men and I really have to say that after the past five years these past five months have been wonderful :)

I've taken this time to put me first (which if you ask me I should of done a long time ago). I've come to the conclusion that I'm ok just as I am. For the longest time I thought everything was my fault in everything I did. And that I must be the common factor in all my relationships failing. And I was in a very dark place for a bit emotionally and in matters of the heart. But I took a step back and looked at all of that and came to the conclusion that I've been dating the same kind of man for five years. All different shapes and sizes and ages. But in the end...the same man. Unattached, unable to commit and the minute he feels trapped by the "B word" (boyfriend) he bolts. So I gave it all up and I poured time into me instead of pouring all my time and energy into trying to figure out what I can do to make someone else happy.

I finally realized I'm the one that matters. ME!!!!!! I've taken this time and I've had a wonderful summer of ME! Lol!! I went swimming and got a nice tan. I have been working out and trying to get back on track with Weight Watchers. I've taken in countless movies (that I wanted to see). I've read books and taken naps. It all may sound really trivial and silly to some but it has made me happy. And, helped my heart to heal. Sure I have my days where i curse all men and wish that they would just vanish off the face of the earth....I am after all a woman! Lol!! But for the most I just say....blah to you mister! Ha ha!

I've begun reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Now single ladies....take heed and read! it's wonderful for me at this time in my life because it is a story of a woman in her 30's searching for what makes her whole again. And, well.....I'm in that search. That wonderful search of what makes me happy. And I can honestly say I'm the most peaceful right now with my inner self. If that makes sense to any of you :)

The trip I took to Branson this summer was wonderful and it got me away and let me cut loose and laugh and be happy. It's amazing how a mini holiday can do that for someone :) I even got to hit a concert this summer. And am looking forward to a couple of other concerts this fall. Which isn't like me at all. But I'm 34....so it's my time!

Scarlett has been busy too. She's had a full summer of taking care of Mama. She said just the other day she is ready for fall and all that brings. I think she's just ready for football, LOL!!

Take care all and be sure to stay tuned to us.....

SWEET FREEDOM!!

Well hello all! Oh my it's been a while since I've blogged. So much has been going on that I've just been too busy. Which is a nice change. First I should start by saying that this is a new improved Melanie. I'm getting back to me and putting me first. Which I've not done in sometime because I've been in relationships and I somehow lost focus on me.

I've gotten back into working out every day. Yes I said every day! Sometimes twice a day. And I'm feeling great! A bit sore from time to time but great all the same! LOL. I've been reading and getting to the movies. I've also been in the pool doing laps and getting my summer tan. All of this I'm doing man less and I have to say for the first time in almost 5 years I'm really happy. I'm not worried about all the things that come with men. Like is he cheating on me, is he lying to me, where is he at, why does he only have time for me one day a week? Men have been nothing but a mess for me.

I've only truly been in love once and it messed me up so much that I just don't think I have it in me anymore. Other than that one time....the rest of my relationships have been nothing but heartache and headaches. I'm finally back to me. And I feel so free and happy.

It's not that I've been in controlling relationships or anything like that it's that I've been in so many one sided things that I lost balance of it all. I give and give and give and men take. They have never really cared for me as a person, mostly I'm just a person who was there to have fun with for a while and then when things start to get serious they just dump you. Well I believe I'm worth sooooo much more than that.

As for those who say I've just not found my one yet. Well there have been over 40 in my life the past 5 years. Now don't judge me! The over 40 include, one date disasters, boyfriends, and guys that you hangout with once or twice and decide....nahhh not for me. That's a lot of idiots and frankly this girl is tired of dating and the game and all that goes with it. My get up and go when it comes to love has got up and went! I told my Mom the other night on my tombstone it will read....here lies Melanie, she lived alone and she died alone. And my Mom said NO! It will read....here lies Melanie....she's smarter than a man. LOL. Gotta love your Mom huh?

Out of 4o some odd men I never found the one that could prove that he actually gave a damn about me. Jr. he was a bit of an exception. But that ship has sailed. And in the end, he ended up like the others, confused as to what he wanted and scared to move forward. So he ran away. And when he wanted to come back I pushed him away. Because frankly if a man can't stand a bit of heat and runs.....he'll run again. I'm not stupid.

Me I'll be fine. I always am.

SCARLETT'S BLOG

Hello humans! Are you staying cool? Mama is all excited because she saw people in the pool today and she is busting to get out there and swim. We've had quite a week here in the house....people are moving out left and right in the complex and I've been keeping my watch on! Moving out, moving in, moving around!

They have come by lately and cleaned the carpets here and for that I had to be locked up in the bathroom all morning! Mama knows I'm not a fan of that, sure she tries to make it easy on me by putting my pillow in there and my water and food, she seems to think all I'm gonna do is nap....wait.....I kind of did, lol!! Then another day i had to be locked up in the bedroom because they were coming to check filters and all that jazz. It's not so bad being locked in the bedroom but I prefer to go in there on my own. Instead of Mama being all sneaky! Lol.

Mama has been so happy lately, I think this "me" time is very good for her. She has been happy and smiling all the time. I'm happy when Mama's happy. We are really ready for summer! Have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend all!!